


He's my boyfriend - stay at home, mates

by Goldalina



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Angst, Asexuality Spectrum, Awkward Sexual Situations, Awkward Tension, Corona Virus - Freeform, Corona pandemic, Dubcon Kissing, Dubious Consent, First Kiss, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Kissing, M/M, Making Out in the Bentley (Good Omens), Non-Consensual Kissing, Oops, Pandemics, Post-Apocalypse, Post-Canon, Sexual Tension, Virus, accidental angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:08:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23362216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Goldalina/pseuds/Goldalina
Summary: Crowley and Aziraphale go out despite the curfew. When a police officer checks on them they pretend to be a couple. The officer doesn't believe them so they have to prove.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	He's my boyfriend - stay at home, mates

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning: Aziraphale does kinda really not like to be kissed but does it anyway and then gets the ace version of gay panic.

Earth's newest pandemic had crippled the public life almost completely. Millions and billions of people were now confined into their houses because there were curfews. Who eventually unleashed the virus was a riddle to Crowley. Humanity clearly got more helpfulm and the environment recovered. On the other hand Crowley had seen people having brawls and melees over toilet paper several times since the spread of the virus. On a very memorable occasion he saw a German tugging war against an old lady with a bag of noodels. He miraculously got so hurt that he had to be brought to the hospital by an ambulance which he refused to get in without the noodels.  
Via the old phone of the bookshop Aziraphale presented his theory which was basically that Gabriel single-handedly had the virus spread to make sure people would finally clear away all the toilet paper which he loathed for some reason.

Actually the demon didn't really care about the actuator but rather about the consequences. Mostly he had to struggle with the curfew. At day one he had watched every episode of „How I met your mother“ (duration: 76 hours). The second day Crowley had cleaned his whole floor with rubbing alcohol and somebodies toothbrush and then, drunk by the steam of the spiritus, he made sure his favorite conspiracy theories about Covid 19 were at the front page of at least thirteen newspapers. At day three he set a little fire in his flat to get out at least some hours while the firemen were working. In the evening, while puzzeling breadcrumbs into the original rolls, Crowley had the amazing idea of just sleeping through it all. He threw the roll out of the window on the head of a passerby and went to sleep.

The blanket was heavy on his body. At the outside he heard the street noise, quieter than normally. It was dark. Actually it was as dark as always. It was rather like a light was missing.  
Crowley twisted on his other side and gazed at the ceiling. That is where he had slept after the Armagedidn't when Aziraphale was with him. He had laid right beneath Crowley. They had been to tired to talk and were just being there. Some time when he had been sleeping he must have let down his hand, because when he woke up in the morning, his and Aziraphales hand had been thightly entangled. Crowley had gay-panicked and flew out of the room with a single jump. Because both of them could pretend that Aziraphale had been asleep the whole time the never mentioned the incident again.  
He missed him, Crowley realized at a sudden. It was the lack of his angels presence which made him so extraordinarily bored and stole his sleep.

He couldn't wait until the curfew was over to meet Aziraphale again. He wanted to see him again eventually.

In less than ten minutes Crowley and the Bentley stood in front of the bookshop. He rang.  
An a little bit weary angel opened the door

„Crowley? What are you doing here? There's a curfew.“

Aziraphale smiled, though. He seemed to be deeply happy to see him.“

„Oh come on, Angel. I had to get a bit of fresh air. Let's drive a bit! Hum? Just a short round, we will be back in a few little minutes“

„I'm not quite sure about that.“

„Oh please, just a little ride, Angel“

Crowley gave him a small grin.

„Fine“

Aziraphale didn't seem to feel really bad about not obeying the rules. He climed in the Bentley and said;

„I won't come with you if you go too fast.“

„Sure, Angel“

The lights of the night flew past while Crowley drove toward the M25 and listened to Aziraphale rambling over the circumstances.

„Before the shops had to close people stole my toilet paper. Can you imagine? Toilet paper!“

The angel opened his window to let in the fresh air of the night. The briskyness felt good on Crowleys too hot skin because he had just realized that Aziraphale wasn't wearing his jacket and he had even opened to top buttons of his shirt.

„And you can't imagine what people in the grocery stores do. Oh, let alone the hospitals! People are nicking disinfectant. The don't even need it. …..“

The wind blew through Aziraphales blonde curls which shined in all colours because of the car lights and billboards. He smiled a little, Crowley realized. For sure Aziraphale had spent the last days completely alone in his shop. His lips were pink and his teeth as white as snow. While he was rambling his eyes wre mirroring an ocean right after a storm. Oh he was so graceful and cute. And then he screamed because Crowley almost crashed with a lorrie since he wasn't looking at the street.

Just now they were driving a lonely street in Greater London when came what was bound to come. They were stopped by a policeman. While Crowley pulled over Aziraphale said panicky:

„Sugar! I shoudn't have come with you. I knew it right from the beginning. This was moribund.

„Angel, we are going to pay a little penality and that's it. No reason to worry.“

„Well yes, but the will note our particulars and this means heaven will get to know of this. And they won't like it. I don't want to risk anything.“

Crowley flinched. The policeman approached, wearing a face mask and gloves. Crowley put down the window and they greeted.

„Please hand me your identification papers and car documents.“

While they did as asked the policeman asked:

„Where are you driving and why are you driving there in the middle of the night?“

Aziraphale opened his mouth but Crowley interrupted him:

„We want to go for a walk in the green.“

With a look at the papers the policeman declared:

„You two are not related and therefore not allowed to meet. Both of you will get an invoice to pay 200 pound.“

He started to write their names down when Crowley got a brainwave and exclaimed:

„He is my boyfriend. It's legal to meet your partner.“

Aziraphale stopped short while the cop harrumphed.

„Oh yes, of course. You are just a calm couple with sleeping problems and you like to be outside at night in cold March! And of course you are not two sad single buddies who want to go the party two streets southwards we busted.“

Crowley felt his heart racing as he continued to talk.

„No, he is definitley my boyfriend and I've been loving him since we first met.“

„Yeah, I understand. Guys, if you were a man and a woman I'd let you pass because it would be at least a bit sensible but you two are – no. Now you are playing the pansy and at the next party you will go on talking about how gross gays are!“

The demon knew exacly how much it offended Aziraphale to be called homophobic so he said:

„This is not okay anymore, damn! You won't let us pass because we are gay? Now listen you homophobic bastard. Arrive at the 21st century and let us go!“

Now the policeman seemed to gain momentum. Aziraphale tucked at Crowleys arm and he heard a small:

„Please, let it be. It's not worth it“

But yet Crowley didn't think of stopping.

„Well, then go kiss your boyfriend if you love him so much. Convince me or i will sue both of you for insulting an official.“

This sentence seemed to hang in limbo. Fuck! Kissing Aziraphale? Crowleys heart hammered at his ribcage. Oh God! Kissing Aziraphale!

„Sure, no problem.“

He almost chocked on the sentence.

Crowley turned around to his angel who didn't looked less shocked. Crowleys hands were shaking while he laid them an Aziraphales magnificent curls. His face had changed colour but this only made his lips look more juicy. Crowley leaned over slowly, feeling his heart losing a beat. He stopped only a few centimetres away from his face. They looked each other in the eyes. Now the ocean in Aziraphales eyes had chaged into a furiing hurricane. It was him to span over and close the space between their lips. It was dark and light at the same time. Cold met heat. A fire exploded in the breast of Crowley. Endorphines flooded his bloodstream. He felt the softness of the angel's lips like snow. His hand gripped the blonde hair like somebody could wrest him if not. They didn't last longer than a second, then Crowley stopped the kiss, panting. He took some deep breaths, then looked at the officer wo gazed black a little shocked. He said, grinning mischievous:

„Pressing lips on lips is nothing special. This is not how a couple kisses.“

Oh God! Kissing again. Oh Goooooood.

Crowley turned around another time. He tried to get a better position in the poky car. When he put his hand on the slightly ruffed hair of Aziraphale he seemed to flinch. He was shaking, too. This time Crowley started the kiss, again being overwhelmed be adrenaline and endorphines. Their lips pressed onto each other while Crowley had his other hand running down the angels strong back, his nonfinite soft hip. Crowley let his hand on Aziraphales thigh. There was no way around it so Crowley started to open his mouth and licked the angel's lips with his parted tounge. He felt that shiver deep down his belly when Aziraphale eventually parted his own lips. He glides into him, savouring every bit of it, every tickling taste, every texture. Their tounges grazed, a dance of fire and ice. Aziraphales hand stroked over Crowleys back stiffly and reluctantly. Then the angel baked off, staring at the the street out of his window. 

Crowley slipped back into his seat, wiping saliva from his chin.

Tranquility, then the policeman threw the papers back into the Bentley and got back in his own car. They heard his siren howling when he drove away untill the echoing finally stopped. 

The tension was thick enough to cut when they dared to move again.

Aziraphale immediately left the car.

„Angel?“

, asked Crowley with a more throaty voice than usually. He also left the Bentley.

„Are you alright?“

The angel seemed to recede. Also he was retching.

„Aziraphale? Please say something.“

Crowley approched him and Aziraphale backed away. Now he was mumbling

„I can't do this. I can't do this. No! Please. I can't – too fast“

„Aziraphale?!“

But he wasn't listening anymore.

„Forgive me, please.“

, left his swollen lips. There were tears in his eyes when Aziraphel opened his wings and flew away quickly.

What Crowley didn't know when he watched his angel fly away into the sunrise was that Aziraphale was not only able to easily sence lies of humans, he could also very much feel the intention of a demon and he for sure only felt pure love when he heared Crowley say "I've been loving him since we first met". Also Aziraphale was an angel which meant he was disgusted by any sexual act and therefore shocked when he realized what feelings he made Crowley feel. And he was shocked by the *want* deep down in Crowleys body which was so much different to him. Aziraphale was afraid because he thought Crowley could never love him if he doesn't also love him that way, forgetting that Crowley's love was uncondicional because it had always been there.

**Author's Note:**

> What are we learning? Get control over your dick to give your one single braincell the blood it needs. Then it might tell you: "Just use a miracle you horny idiot" and you won't have to search for your traumatized friend. 
> 
> Beta read by: on_Saturn_it_rains_diamonds  
> Thanks mom! (She's cool)


End file.
